As of this morning, I am now down to 232.8 pounds. That is a 1.6 pound loss from last week. I didn’t expect this, since I did binge on chocolate a bit this week. I also reintroduced legumes, which are starchy. I’m just finishing the reintroduction of nightshades, but I haven’t had any potatoes because I know they trigger me. I’ve been doing this one with tomatoes and peppers, which aren’t so starchy.
I had to go out to get groceries yesterday, and I caught my reflection in the window of the store. I had to do a double-take. I didn’t recognize myself at first. It was clearly someone in my clothes, but the reflection should have been bigger. I should’ve been bigger. I’m not used to this. I think that this may be the hardest thing about losing weight. The psychology of it.
Yes, that is my face and I recognize that it’s me. But it’s also not me. It’s not the person I’m used to seeing. I also don’t feel like I’m used to feeling. I have curves in places that used to bulge and some places that used to be round are now flat. It’s weird. I don’t feel like myself. I feel good, generally speaking, just not normal. It’s such a contradicting thing to lose this much weight. I want to achieve my goal, and preferably quickly, but the closer I get, the less I feel like myself. I’m hoping this alone time with quarantine will help me adjust to my body’s changes better.
Musing Enigma 